Linton P. Gordon
As the number of women being killed in domestic disputes continues to rise, the society is entering “panic mode”. Some persons are calling for legislation with harsh provisions for punishment. Others are demanding that the police should somehow find a way to prevent these homicides arising from domestic disputes.
Then there are others who firmly believe that the Devil has let loose some evil spirits over Jamaica and that these evil spirits are entering into the heads of our men telling them to commit these vicious murders against their spouses.
There is now an air of arrogance emanating from the attacking male whose motto is “if me can’t have you, nobody else nah get u”.
What this motto says of these men is that they have decided that the women in the relationship with them must continue in the relationship irrespective of differences that have developed. These men are prepared to kill their spouses/lovers rather than allow somebody else to have a relationship with them.
NO COMPULSORY UNION
It is not likely that there is a uniform reason for the conduct of these men. It might be mere coincidence that we are now having so many of these murderous acts of domestic violence. However, we should not rule out the possibility of copycat being the reason for all of this. Whatever the reason, it is a most unfortunate development that we now have men who so lack self confidence and are so insecure that they irrationally attack and, in these several recent instances, kill women who seek to exercise their right to be in a union of their choice.
Our men need to understand that there is no basis in our legal system or in our culture for compulsory union between man and woman.
There are societies in which the right to terminate a man-woman relationship is so restricted that it can be seen as not allowed. This is not the case in our society and so even where the parties are married they can separate temporary on their own initiative or by a court order such as a Protection Order under the Domestic Violence Act. They can be permanently separate by either party obtaining a Decree Absolute. We must accept the reality that it is all but impossible for the police to prevent acts of domestic violence. In many instances, the police experience many difficulties dealing with domestic violence, especially if the parties resume the relationship and only visit the police for the law officers to talk to the offending party so that the relationship can continue peacefully.
BACK TOGETHER
Attorneys too at times experience instances where they are retained to take action against an abusive spouse only to be told a couple days later that everything is alright and that the parties are back together again.
Close family members and relatives are in most instances aware that there is ongoing spousal abuse but they fail to intervene or to encourage the victim to seek assistance. It is only after there is a tragic event that they come forward and confess that they were aware of ongoing abuse.
The best approach that the Government can take to tackle spousal abuse is not necessarily more laws and more drastic punishment. A man who is prepared to kill his spouse and then commit suicide is not deterred by any level of punishment prescribe by law. Such a person has already committed to taking his own life or is prepared to die in prison.
It is submitted that the best approach is a structured, well developed and well organized public education program professionally carried out and aimed at persuading men and women to respect rights and desist from resolving their difference through violent means.
Special emphasis should be placed on educating our men to respect women and to accept that the woman has a right to leave the relationship they are in and that no acts of violence should be carried out against a woman because she exercises her option to get out of a relationship. Similarly, our women should be taught to accept that men have a right to get out of a relationship with them.
This has to be a long term effort as it is not likely that the changes will come overnight. In the meantime, let us all appeal to all persons in relationships to accept that the relationship will come to an end one day, if it is even by death. Let us appeal to our citizens to accept and acknowledge that everyone has a right to get out of a relationship. The churches and educational institutions should take the lead in educating our young men as proposed herein.
Finally, all persons in abusive relationships have a duty to seek help before it is too late.
